I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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