I skipped work to stalk him.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
