good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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