Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
