yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
