So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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