apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
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Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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