i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
