ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
