ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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