And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Green mimosas i think yes
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
