so explain again why im purple
no
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
