Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
