Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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