its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
