when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
