I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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