eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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