apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
