I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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