I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
