i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
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Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
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After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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