You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize