i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
