he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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