I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
