Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
