the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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