I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
