Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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