I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
