Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
