HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
