They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sorry about my life...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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