I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Found your dick twin last night
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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