Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
