Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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