Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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