I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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