Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize