I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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