Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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