You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
