you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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