My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
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I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
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I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize