Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Are we in a gay sports bar?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
