so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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