i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize