I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
