we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I didn't notice because vodka
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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