Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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