they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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