Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
BRING THE BAGELS
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think people are normalizing furries
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