Four minutes until I can fart!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
