I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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